Our qualifications are not hanging in framed certificates on our walls, but rather are the scars and wounds that we have experienced, endured, and subsequently learned and recovered from. With the current divorce rate spiking at a dizzying sixty percent, it is clear that young couples are not being taught the skills needed to navigate through the conflicts and difficulties of being in a committed relationship. Charlie was offering his sister and her new husband what we both wished had been offered to us. This book demonstrates how couples can enrich their own relationships by working through love's challenges. Charlie and Linda Bloom, psychotherapists with fifty-five years of combined experience in relationship counseling, are acutely aware of this. They've helped thousands of couples improve their most cherished relationships. The problem was that none of them fully expressed what I wanted to say.
It was nice to read this advice and experience from someone who's been through it all and still going strong and passing on his wisdom to those just starting out just so they can try and avoid the mistakes he felt he had made and wouldn't have if someone had written a self-help book for him. There was, of course, more to our relationship than suffering and struggle. Because we were hanging by threads so many times, at risk of separation and divorce, we learned to truly care for each other, the relationship, and ourselves. But maybe instead of criticizing the book for this fact I should just find it reassuring that I'm relatively well-prepared, accordi Interesting but not especially substantive. At the same time, they were the primary source of what triggered our reactive patterns. Each lesson is presented as a simple, one-sentence thought followed by an explanation using real-life examples.
The book makes it clear that, regardless of past experience, anyone can develop the basic strengths, skills and capacities needed for a great relationship. They demonstrate the universality of relationship issues and how anyone can find ways out of the pain that can engulf a relationship. Our first child was born less than two years after we got married, when we were both full-time graduate students, saddled with debt and both out of work. After all, they've apparently struggled through the roughest dark patches and conflicts, so they know what they're talking about. We had very distorted pictures of what love is. One whole chapter is dedicated to comparing marriage to Hindu Yoga. This book was very helpful! Each of us was looking for someone to provide us with emotional security, since neither of us had developed any real sense of wholeness within ourselves.
Therefore, I didn't like it because I didn't get anything out of it. By the end of the trip, we had eighty. In our work with couples, we have found that while it does require effort and intention to adopt this orientation, it need not take as long as it took us to do so. One of the most important things we can do to keep our relationship strong and healthy is build the bond of affection. By taking on the challenges of a committed partnership we are prompted to realize the fullness of our being. At least that book includes a number of exercises, surveys, and activities that a couple can complete together.
Be that as it may, I'm not sure that I really trust the authors, despite professional qualifications. In spite of their professional success, Charlie and Linda both agree that their greatest achievement has been a fulfilling marriage of thirty-one years. Interesting but not especially substantive. Afterward, several people, including the minister, asked me for copies of my notes. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Also I think that this book gives the impression that marital infidelity is not an incredibly serious issue.
Neutralizing them would take practice, devotion, and time. The Blooms share a wealth of experience with their readers. It is written in short easy to read chapters, and keeps you aware of your partner's needs and your own actions. Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. I do speak very plainly and bluntly, but with honesty and integrity. It was nice to read this advice and experience from someone who's been through it all and still g I'm a sucker when it comes to self-help books on marriage. The exemplary marriages we know of have been earned.
I just don't think that it's worth the cover price, though potentially acceptable as a library option. I got an advertisement for a book by someone else I have no desire to read. We hope that this book will not only help you to appreciate the power of this perspective, but also assist you in applying it to your own relationships. It swings between cheeseball and cutting edge, but does certainly helps!! The experiences that brought us to our knees made us the people we are, and the learning and recovery that went along with each one have shaped our relationship into the treasure it is now. Like many couples, we attempted to do away with our differences by trying to change each other or ourselves. It's the bourgeois thirty-something purchasing a buddha statue from Pier One imports. We reached a point where we could see why couples who love each other choose divorce.
We have come close to losing our marriage on several occasions, and each time we managed to pull back from the edge, rather than going over it. The Blooms share a wealth of experience with their readers. This book demonstrates how couples can enrich their own relationships by working through love's challenges. Only with time and experience are many of these lessons valuable. Each lesson is presented as a simple, one-line thought followed by an explanation using real life examples, from Charlie and Linda's personal experiences and the experiences of other couples.
The E-mail message field is required. While some of the 101 things were new pieces of information or things I had not thought a lot about in the past, the vast majority seemed obvious -- it just didn't feel as though I was learning much. You have to decide if it works for you, especially in your primary relationship. People can, he said, learn more about themselves in a week in a relationship than by sitting in meditation in a cave for a year. These interactions are the building blocks of a great love erected over time. I've noticed that people tend to have the same behavior in most parts of their lives.
If you would have given me this book when I was a young bride- I am not sure it would have helped. Each chapter is between one and three pages long, outlining some general point that the authors are trying to apply to marriages acros This book isn't terrible or anything like that. Each lesson is presented as a simple, one-sentence thought followed by an explanation using real-life examples. I understand that this perspective is important and emphasizes holding to commitment despite tremendous set-backs. I hope to provide guidance for people seeking it, as I was. They demonstrate the universality of relationship issues and how anyone can find ways out of the pain that can engulf a relationship.